Quarantine cast of characters

Hola future Vaxers,
As we round the corner on our isolation timeline and are in our final week, I thought I’d share some insights into the personalities of the people tasked with making our stay more bearable, or not in some cases.
Someone from the “wellness” team calls every few days to banally ask how we are doing and if they could do anything to make our stay more comfortable. I repeatedly ask for real silverware and a ping pong table and always get the same reply of “No, I’m sorry” in the Glenda the good witch tone, knowing that the manual they are provided has a cover of unicorns and fairies but inside is just a single sheet that has one line that says in 250 font “Tell the sniveling weasels NO to everything!” in a pleasant manner.
Most of the Kiwi yard guards are cheery and smile under their masks as we walk lemming like in circles but one stands out who surely graduated with honors from the prestigious but less well known Auschwitz Charm School. She’s always threatening to revoke our outside privileges if we don’t stay 2 meters apart which leads me to think she gets a bonus pot of gruel at the end of the month for her exemplary discipline and adherence to the rules. She must have a bloodhound like sense that can detect deviants like my buddy Dylan and me who inch closer in conversation as we exit her field of vision.
Lastly some nameless, faceless demolition worker in a room next to mine is busy most afternoons alternating between hammering, scraping or applying a belt sander to the wall in an effort to either remodel the whole place or tunnel his way to freedom.
Just 5 more days of living the dream and then we either fly south to the frozen promised land or transfer to another hotel that promises to be less restrictive. Hope your viral load is low and your spirits are high.
Banal Bob