Joyless cereal bars

Hi cardboard fans,
      Just when you thought food couldn’t get any more dull, dry and tasteless, my breakfast included a recycled cardboard tub of cereal bars made of overcooked, compressed paper shards. They didn’t even make it to the “save for later” space on the dresser, but got pitched in the rubbish bag destined for the landfill. It would be interesting to attach a tracking device to see if even the scavengers of the dump would be enticed to sample these vegan inspired cardboard replicas.
       I know some of you think I just have too much time on my hands, which of course is true, but this one really took the imagination of a prison chef in Hades to combine floor scraps in the wastewater plant into these  mouth drying rectangles of fecal chips.
     Lunch also included a brightly wrapped sample labeled “Chewy Muesli Bar” (which seemed redundant) for anyone that didn’t get enough fiber with the breakfast coal flakes. I now imagine dinner might provide more in the form of  something uniquely inspired like a salad of wood splinters and shavings over dried fish scales and cactus needles for that extra colon boost that we all crave.
    Hope your meals are flavorful and colorful, and as for me all this is balanced out by the joy of my little princess turning 28 today!
Cheers,
   Dry humored Bob